Tuesday, March 19, 2013

I've got it !

I don't really know what to type here.. I find only emptiness in my mind since a year ago.. I recently stumbled upon a video which I think sums up how I feel (and probably others who has been through similar events).. Have a look and hold back them tears

Link >

If you can't view it for any apparent reason , here's a youtube link but without subtitles > < It's in Thai I'm guessing, but videos like this don't need words.. You can understand fully from plain visual.. If anyone here has watched this, or even you, this is what I've been feeling for a whole one year.. Finally found a way by means of visual to tell people, how stuff like this, can pull me down, demotivate me, and sway me away from my path.

Goodnight People. and sweet dreams to you.

Thursday, February 28, 2013

If you are still reading..

I apologized to you today.. And yes if you are still reading my half dead blog, then i hope you know that im honest about my apology. I know no matter how bad things went I should not have said those things to you.. You were the best thing that has ever happened to me and still is.. I'm sorry i burst out in anger.. I did not know what to do..or to say.. I've told you there won't be anyone like you.. and i mean it.. after 7 months of excruciating hell for me, I'm still caught in this hole.. slowly trying to crawl out of it.. Trying my very best, while activating every pain receptor in my brain, and hoping that i would, the least, let my  heart heal, but no. 7 months. June 14th, til now, not a day goes by with you slipping by my mind. Not one day. I'm trying my very best to move on but for you to know, its the hardest thing i've ever done in my life, and after 7 months i still hit a brick wall, trying every way to empower myself to get over this, every muscle, every bit of effort just to calm the pain. at least one bit if ever possible..

I don't expect you to reply me, or to talk to me, ever if you so wish.. We've both made mistakes, and I've gone through hell and still going.. And no ive not found anyone im keen in .. All i do is just listen to music, tunes that we share..Everything i see, everything i hear, brings flashes of memories into me.. There's not one thing i see or hear that keeps you away from me. This is the truth from me. You know me best, even more than my family, and i know you know that i wouldn't lie in this matter, or else i wouldn't write it here.. This is the only way i could pass a message to you, if you are still reading.. This blog will be alive, although not updated often, until you've seen this.. My life is flat, i've flunked my 3rd semester.. Honestly ive nothing else to lose.. I've lost it all and felt the deepest and darkest corners of hell.. But, I've wrote to you before, theres nothing for you i would not do. I am not begging you to come back. But i would like you to know. When you read this, if you are with someone else.. I pretty damn hope that he treats you well.. As for me , I'm not looking into any relationship right now.. I don't think i can give another as much as i have given you..

I just want you to know, that my love for you was and is true.. Til' now after 7 months, I've not felt any different.. And if you are still reading, this is a post of true love, an honest heart, and undying will, only for you.


To the number one , in my heart.

Saturday, December 29, 2012


well..Good day.. good friends around.. different compared to the last one..absent of love.. a lonely heart, and no surprises. But I still appreciate what i have..

Happy birthday to me ;)

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Empowering others.

Empowering others around me.

It's been about four months have passed now since that day..And truly, no one knows what a heart break feels like until they get into one (I'm praying for all souls out there from the bottom of my heart that shit like that does not happen) .. Well yeah, shisha kicks in,alcohol kicks in..alot of it.. Today I've been thinking of the phrase "Empowering others around me". Why ? Quite simple.

                                                                    WV. All because of WV. 

I want to travel around the world for a living.
I have seen Italy (my dream place), Budapest, London, Singapore,Bali and they all share the same feeling. Especially when I leave, interestingly in Italy though, after leaving to Budapest from Italy, I felt very very very sad leaving that place. Although I wished I could stay longer, that sadly couldn't happen. I DO want to travel around the world and stay as long as I can. And WV provides me JUST THAT.

I want financial freedom & I want to get rich.
Many of you might be thinking I'm only 19 and I'm talking about financial freedom already.Yes, I AM 19, but that doesn't mean I think like one. I have seen many adults with poorer thinking skills compared to mine, and I pride myself for having this ability to think ahead. I want money. I love money. And I know money doesn't come without you working for it. BUT, you can work DIFFERENTLY to gain that amount you so dearly desire. I don't want to trade TIME for MONEY. I don't want to be burdened by bills and loans. I want to buy WHAT I want , WHEN I want. That, is true financial freedom.

I want to empower those around me.
There's a million ways to analyze this phrase. To me, what it means is, I want those around me to have the same vision of living their lives THE WAY IT SHOULD BE. No burdens by bills or loans. Buy what they want, when they want and enjoy financial freedom.I love seeing those around me being happy and enjoying life. We only have an average of 25,000 DAYS to live on this planet as WHAT and WHO YOU ARE. The name you have now ? The personality you have now ? Only once. Live it the way it should be.

I want to make living, LIVING.
To sum it all up, I want to make living , living ! I want to live life to its fullest, and not be burdened by ANYTHING, where whatever I want to do, I CAN do. I've seen enough of people being burdened by time and money. If you lack time and money, what else do you have ? From today, I want to make a change to my life. I want to live it to it's fullest, I want to work for my financial freedom, I want to buy what I want whenever I desire, I want to see the world.I hope everyone I know around me have similar vision and thoughts, and actually redefine the word life. Today, I want to make living, Living.

And WV does just, that.

A 19 year old with huge dreams.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

I'm missing you so badly right now..

Hurts me bad to say this

Wednesday, November 7, 2012


Couldn't really care less.

At my point of life, I couldn't really care less about most of things. I usually go "fuck it".well comes with its goods and bads. I try not to worry too much because most of the things that i care alot goes off quickly anyway.. and I find myself constantly surrounded by negative people. Some arrogant, and some just plain bitchy. Well I plan to erase all of you godforsaken turds by the next year, and those who look down on me, just watch, I'll be ten steps ahead of you.

I just don't get it sometimes, i'm nice to at least 99% of the people i meet and still they treat me like shit.Really Haven't i have given enough to at LEAST receive some respect? Nah, i guess not.Some people just don't deserve be it your friends or not.


Most of them , eventually will cast you aside when they find "better" friends anyway.Most of them. Got a handful of mine here myself.

Now for some norah jones to keep me off my mind and to help me turn in.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Ipoh, I feel like I'm lost.

Somehow, I don't feel like home coming back here..Everything feels so unwelcoming..And I don't know why I'm actually afraid to go around town..Haunted by memories of the past and I don't know what I'd do if I see her again..Oh well, I don't feel like I belong here anymore..Guess I wouldn't come back if not for my remaining family here and some of my schoolmates.

Well, Italy was a blast and really helped clear a lot of my mind and set things at peace, but not fully though.Hungary was almost the same since the last time I was there, except that they speak more English now.. I really feel like moving to Italy,Cesena the least..It's so peaceful and you see smiles everywhere, and it's a place I really can start anew and don't have to be afraid. Oh yeah, afraid of her I am. You can call me emo or whatever terms you use but if you've not been in a horrid breakup/dumped session like me then you have no reason at all to judge. Nonetheless I've gotten my B License already ! Finally one of my dreams came true after such hard work..The new kawasaki Z800 is out and coming in December and I've set my sights on that ..Bro wants to start riding too so I offered to teach him from ground zero.. I really can't wait to start biking.. Really need to clear my mind more and yeah time will heal..

The more and more people I meet that talks about them sleeping around and shit..well i feel really disgusted..Can you imagine if that was someone's "other half" omfgshitznit lol that sucks right .. well if theyre single+single then fire away lol..okay totally random cause i'm out of words to write already..hmm wat else, oh yeah met up with kirthi,ash,sunil and zhaf the other day and we CC'ed for 7 hours straight..never done that in a long time and man it was insane lol ! Well good to know my poor soul is having some fun.. well now time to wait for my bike ! and pictures pictures pictures will come !!